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Real Programmers don’t write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies. FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.

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If you teach your children to like computers and to know how to gamble then they’ll always be interested in something and won’t come to no real harm.

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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. — Woody Allen

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If it’s working, the diagnostics say it’s fine. If it’s not working, the diagnostics say it’s fine. – A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming

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Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll invite himself over for dinner. – Calvin Keegan